Posted by: theMajlis

The Lament and Complain of a Muslim Girl

POURING out her lament and complaint, a Muslim girl pursuing a course of study at a secular university, writes:

"I am a 21 year-old daughter of well-to-do and respectable parents. Although our family is considered to be religious, my parents have strong leanings towards westernism and modernism. The proof of this is my presence in a co-ed non-Muslim varsity pursuing a medical career.

From the age of six, I was thrust into the lap of secular non-Muslim schools. The afternoon o­ne hour madrasa class was, in retrospect, a symbolic adherence to Islam. But the seeds of the Deen which were implanted in my heart by the old fashioned mullah, had sustained the safety of my Imaan which otherwise could not have withstood the sustained ravages of the assault of 15 years of indoctrination by the materialists and atheists—my school and colleges tutors, and the buffetings of the depraved culture of the west which we are indoctrinated to accept as the code of enlightment for the world.

EXPOSURE

For 15 years I was exposed to a culture which stands diametrically opposed to Islam. Here I want to touch o­n o­nly o­ne aspect since the dilemma I am facing now has its origin in this aspect—free mixing with the opposite sex.

The degree of this mixing with its natural immoral consequences cannot be denied by anyone who is aware of what takes place at college and varsity. From the Islamic perspective the evil and vice are total. No o­ne can emerge unscathed from the cauldron of vice which characterizes high school and university life.

Circumstances of the western culture induced me to freely mingle with males. My father too is a professional man who went through college life, and he is well aware of what transpires at these secular institutions. For the sake of a secular career which promises security in the mundane world, and a high status, my parents, like all other Muslim parents whose sons and daughters attend university, cast an intentional blind eye to the rape of the modesty and moral purity their children suffer at these institutions.

The seeds of Islam which my mullah teacher many years ago planted in my mind led me to read Islamic books. This ‘unnatural’ inclination for reading Islamic literature in the merciless environment in which I was entrapped, I attribute to o­nly my Islamic teacher. I must thank Allah Ta’ala for the good fortune of even those symbolic o­ne hour classes. It can be o­nly those seeds which grew into a tree with the root of Imaan reaching deep into the heart . I attribute the safety of my Imaan to o­nly this, and nothing else. My reading broadened my Islamic vision and I came to understand my religion better.

The total freedom of association with the opposite sex, being in constant contact with them even in privacy took its toll. There is no inhibition to communication with the opposite sex at college. In fact, such contact is encouraged and actively fostered. Abstention from such indulgence is believed to be an aberration. It is extremely naVve and unreasonable to believe that my parents were unaware of this situation to which their daughter was being exposed from the day they had her enrolled in primary school. My contact with boys was initiated at their behest from the very first day of enrolment 15 years ago.

Friendship with boys increased as the years went by. From what I have read in my Islamic books, such relationship is a kind of fornication. Nevertheless I continued with such relationships with a variety of males. But deep in my heart I knew the error and sin of such illicit contact.

About two years ago a ‘friendly’ relationship developed between a non-Muslim male at university and myself. The relationship became a serious o­ne. The boy is of good natural habits and comes from a cultured home. His relationship with me led to him accepting Islam. He started studying the books I gave him and as far as I could see, he has become a practical Muslim in the context of the liberal environment of university life. Soon the subject of marriage was broached.

I raised the topic of marriage with my mother whose reaction was very hostile. When she discussed the matter with my father, his reaction was explosive. He was livid with anger. Not over his dead body would he allow me to marry the boy. I was and still am dumbfounded by their reaction.

For 15 years they accepted and tolerated their daughter’s association with all types of boys— Muslims and non-Muslims—with boys whom they are not aware of. But their awareness of inter-sex relationships and contact is undeniable. They had tolerated the Islamically unlawful or illicit relationships for more than a decade, not breathing a word of reprimand, caution or advice against the pitfalls of such un-Islamic contact. But, when I attempted to correct the wrong with lawful Nikah, it seemed as if it was the end of the world for my parents. I simply cannot fathom this kind of thinking.

Fifteen years of ‘freedom’, exposed to the o­nslaught of western culture in liberal secular institutions have engendered in me sufficient ‘audacity’ to oppose my parents’ wishes. After all, I reckoned that I will be doing good, what is right and to please Allah if I terminate the illicit relationship with the holy bond of Nikah. We got married by Nikah without the approval of my parents. Have I erred in my decision and the step I took?

My father has since disowned me. I am not allowed to visit my parents and he says that he will see that I do not inherit anything in his estate. As far as inheritance, it does not worry me. I have realized that Allah Ta’ala is our o­nly Provider. My eyes are not o­n the wealth of my parents. What is however hurtful is the severance of ties. I am not allowed to even see my mother. Are my father’s actions within the parameters of the teachings of Islam? Both of us—my husband and I—have discontinued our study careers, and we do not regret o­ne moment. Your comments will be appreciated.

"The Majlis" Vol 16 No 04